billy-pilgrims:

[writes paper] this doesnt make any sense [prints it] [doesn’t proofread] [hands it in for a grade]

dixiegent:

pantryraids:

why do dads sneeze so loud

To assert dominance over lesser sneezers

baelor:

SCARY MOVIES SET IN HOUSES ARE THE WORST

LIVE IN A HOUSE

thegayswhocouldfly:

so me and my siblings (theres 3 of us) were eating dinner with my dad and we were talking about dad jokes and all of a sudden my dad goes “ive only made 3 jokes in my life and theyre all sitting in front of me”

thats it

the dad joke to end all dad jokes

But why do I notice everything? She thought. Why must I think? She did not want to think. She wanted to force her mind to become a blank and lie back, and accept quietly, tolerantly, whatever came.

Virginia Woolf, The Years (via feellng)

  • accidentally thinks about something awkward i did three years ago

  • me:

    nononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononononono

cuteness-daily:

When someone randomly calls you cute and you just

image

grinderman2:

*tips fedora at mosquito* m’laria

himederekitten:

This is a piece of shitty mid-2000s humour that I hope never disappears from the internet